HeadLights
by WFTFA
Summary: "They'd never understand. They can feel. I'm stuck, never moving, not until he came for me." Rated T - Mostly (RedX-Rae) and onesided (Rob-Rae)
1. Chapter 1 - Alone

**Okay... this is my first story ever uploaded... I dont plan on it being immaculate, but I would like feed back to help me along... c: Thank you!**

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 **Chapter One – Alone**

 **-Raven's POV-**

 _They don't know what it's like. They get to be happy. To be loved. To feel loved. They can show their emotions, they san show their happiness, their sadness, hate, anger, fear. They can show it all. They can show their love…_

 _Me? I'm alone._

 _Even though I'm in a tower, with four other meta-humans, who think they understand me, none of them do. They claimed they could help me. They welcomed me with open arms. They helped me defeat a tyrannical father, who's mission in life… was to destroy mine._

 _They love me. But not the way I want them to. Not the way I want_ him _to. He saved me from the fiery pits of hell. From deaths cold grasp, on more than one occasion. I know I can't show it. Because if I do, I'll destroy everything I've strived to protect. If I do, it would ruin me. If I do,_ nothing _would ever be the same. He would never love me. He_ will _never love me. Nothing can change that. Nothing will ever change that. It was simply time to let go._

 _Let go of the hope he would leave the Tameranian Princess. The thought that we could be happy together. Because I know we won't. Because, even on my best day, I'll always be second best._

 _Always the Dark Bird._

 _Always and forever… alone._

 _And after tonight, after what I felt, after my heart being_ ripped _out of me… I was fine with that._

 _With the bond we share, I felt it all._ Every _moan, and cry that left his lips. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing I would do. There was nothing there for me anymore._

 _Not after tonight…_

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Robin lay awake late that night. Slowly blinking his eyes to the red lettering of his clock- 1:17 a.m.

He let out a breath, and moved to sit up, only to find an orange tanned arm looped around his chest. Removing it, he pulled his green plaid boxer shorts on, and walked over to the window overlooking the bay.

 _This_ was supposed to be different. This is what it was meant to be like. He was meant to be with Starfire. He was _supposed_ to be with Starfire. She was beautiful, strong, powerful, innocent, caring, happy. She was everything he always thought he wanted.

But she wasn't _her._

She wasn't Raven. Starfire wasn't the girl he went to hell for. She wasn't the one who consumed his mind every second he wasn't thinking of something else. She wasn't the one he was permanently linked to. She wasn't the one he loved before he knew what it was like to truly love someone.

He turned back to face the bed. Realizing what he had done. He began to pace back and forth with his hands clasped atop his head.

How could he tell Raven how much he loved her now? Starfire would never let him go. He had just willingly "Mated" with Starfire. Robin's eyes went wide.

 _What did mating with Starfire mean?!_

Robin looked as if he were about to have a mental break-down. Did "mating" with Starfire mean he could never be with Raven? What did he do? He had let himself go for one second, and he had already ruined his life. He needed to do something. He began to leave the room in search of his Dark Bird, but upon seeing the time, decided to let her have a night of peace, before he declared his feelings, or at least he would try to…

He fell back into his slumber, and into dreamless sleep.

But in the room down the hall, nothing he tried would matter, his Dark Bird had already given up, and would no longer willingly take the heart break being in love with Robin dealt. Raven had given up on his love. Because he would never understand. No one she had ever met would. At least no one she knew of yet…


	2. Chapter 2 - It Begins With Him

**(A/N)** I was thinking of changing the title of the story to "The Dark Bird," or "In Her Eyes." I don't know, I like them better than the current situation, so I wanted your input, while the HeadLights thing will come into play, it won't for a while. And it wont make sense until then. But thank you guys so much for your reviews and everything. You have no idea how much it means that you guys like this story. Thanks you :D

~ D.I.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans… *sniffles*.

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 **Chapter Two – It Begins with Him**

Raven awoke to the smell of delicious blackberry pancakes, and the sound of 'joyous laughter' no doubt curtesy of their very own Princess Starfire. _Today's gonna be a whole lot of fun._ After rolling out of her plush oval shaped bed, and walked into her bathroom, to begin her daily routine.

When Raven emerged, wrapped in a warm white towel, she quickly dried and changed into a new leotard and cloak. She was about to leave, when she looked into the mirror.

Nothing she saw was extraordinary. She was plain. Thin pale, she didn't have a body like Star. She was average, not someone who was worthy of worship. Wrenching herself out of her reprieve, she left the criticizing mirror, for better company. Specifically that of her closest friends.

"Oh! Finally Rae you're here! Please please please, tell Cyborg that tofu is NOT goat vomit!" Beastboy asked while shooting a scolding look toward the metal man.

"Well, I'm just saying, that's what it looks like BB." Cyborg stated, "Just accept the fact, that whenever anybody looks at you while you're eating it, it'll look like you have a weird thing for goats." He stated mischievously. And laughed as a red faced Beastboy stomped over to the couch grumbling under his breath.

Raven lifted the corner of her lips the slightest fraction, to reveal a rare smirk as she walked down the stairs. Settling onto a barstool, she was caught off guard when a bone crushing hug settled onto her tiny frame. Gasping for breath, and inhaling greedily when she finally could she glared at an extremely happy Starfire, who at the moment was clasping her hands in front of her, ready to burst in excitement.

"Dear friend Raven, do you think perhaps we could partake in the 'girl talk' today? I have something very exciting I would wish to tell you!" The alien said giddily.

"Actually Star," a distinct voice cut in from behind Starfire. "I'd like to talk to Raven before you get your hands on her."

"Very well Boyfriend Robin. I shall see you after then Friend Raven?" She said turning to Raven who answered with a terse, 'yes'.

Starfire floated away, to see what Beastboy was doing on the couch. Then Robin motioned for Raven to follow him, which she did, suddenly very interested with her shoes. Robin lead her into the team meeting room, when he stop, and began to speak.

"Raven, I wanted to talk to you about something. It's about-" However he was cut off before he could finish.

"Robin, you don't need to explain, I completely understand." She spoke without emotion, starring into his mask, but not quite meeting his eyes. Robin eyed her with confusion, before he continued.

" You do?" He asked hopefully, she merely replied with a blank expression and a nod. "So, what- uh, what do you think?" He asked hesitantly while scratching the back of his head.

Raven inhaled deeply, and closed her eyes before she answered, "I think," she suddenly opened her eyes with a cold and steel like feeling piercing him straight through his heart. But she continued, "You should close the bond, before you decide to start having sex with your girlfriend." Robins eyes widened with horror. Before he lowered his head in shame.

 _Did she see that?! Oh my god!_ He thought, completely blindsided by the statement.

"But," her voice was enough to bring his back to the moments before when he lived in hopeful bliss. "I understand, just… remember that you need to block off our bond when you do… _that._ " She offered a sheepish smile, and turned to leave. However was stopped when a gloved hand snagged her wrist.

"We're okay right, Raven? You don't think any less of me do you?"

"Of course not Robin, just… be careful with the bond."

He was going to reply, when large red flashing lights went off, after running to the common room, a familiar name popped up on the screen; _**Red X.**_

* * *

"Titans Go!" Robin's cry rang through the mid-morning lit street, as he flung a birdarang toward the ever clever master thief.

"Oh you're gonna have to do a lot better than that Boy Blunder." Even with the taunting mask covering Red X's face, Robin could feel the smirk in the mechanical voice, mocking him. The confidence radiated off to the criminal like radiation from a nuclear power plant. It made Robin sick. "What's the matter Chuckles? You look a little upset."

The Boy Wonder sent a barrage of flying light disks at him, while charging with his bow staff. Red X back flipped out of the way from the tiny explosives, and began deflecting Robin's attacks with his own X shaped swords, and kicked Robin square in the chest, sending him backwards into a rampaging green rhino.

Seeing a mechanical fist, looking to collide with his face, Red X, quickly ran up the nearby brick wall, and flipped on top of the grumbling Cyborg, who was slewing a cluster of curses at the thief, as the 'X' on his back powered down his systems. Red X watched as the now grey etched mechanical man fell with a heavy 'thud'. While admiring his handy work, however, he failed to notice the green ram, until it collided with his abdomen that is. Red X was shoved into a wall, but always quick to recover, jumped away before a green energy blast could hit him in the face.

"Nice to see you too Angel face." She growled, and fired again, only to hit the black static caused by his teleportation.

"Where do you think he went friend Beastboy?" She asked genuinely perplexed.

Beastboy looked left and right, but saw him nowhere, he only saw Robin and Raven, doing the same thing. "I honestly don't- Ahh!" He let out a well placed yelp, as a gooey red 'X' slammed into him and Starfire, who matched his cry with one of her own. With them glued to the floor, Red X laughed triumphantly when he heard Beastboy cry in anguish, "Nooo! My dooooo!"

However his moment of glory was short lived, when a black energy laced trash can hit him square in the chest, forcing him to tumble, and land in a crouch. Swiftly assuming a fighting stance, he saw _her._ But more than that, he saw her eyes. Brilliant swirls of amethyst, telling untold tales of pain, and sadness… Though her hood was drawn, and her powerful exterior hid it well, he saw her emotions, through those bright windows into her soul. Her eyes simply and utterly entranced the thief. He felt as if he were drowning in her gaze, like if she requested, he would give this woman, the dark enchantress, the world, his soul and everything in between. Words could not simply begin, nor do justice to how he felt at that singular moment. He looked into her eyes, and he felt it. He _felt_ it _calling_ to him, driving him mad, he needed to be near her, to simply protect and serve. He would give this infuriating woman everything he had, for just the opportunity to speak with her.

He _**needed**_ her.

Slowly, he reached out to simply touch her, and began taking a few tentative steps toward the ethereal figure, but was halted in his pursuit, when he saw something glint in the sunlight heading directly for his chest. It was too close. It would hit him no matter what he did. So he simply stared at the thing that would end him, waiting for the impending explosion…that never came. But instead a panicked shout coming from the other side of the street. "No!"

He heard it. He heard, but never _felt_ the explosion. Before him, was the soul self of the entrancing titan… who had saved his life.

Raven slowly descended, and slowly shifted back into her physical being, not knowing why she had saved the criminal behind her. She turned to see him staring intensely behind his mask.

"Thank you."

And he was gone.

Robin was left staring at the place Red X had just disappeared from. He didn't like what had just happened. Raven shielded him. She _shielded_ him from his attack. Slowly glancing up at her stunned form. Slowly, he made his way over to her. Raven however, did not even acknowledge his presence until he pressed a hand on her shoulder, turning her around so she could look into his mask. Her eyes still lingered on the same spot, until she meet his eyes, or rather his mask.

"Raven…?" Robin was speaking as if she were a frightened animal, which he was trying to coax out of hiding.

Raven didn't respond. She just returned her eyes to the spot on the floor, were her _enemy_ just was, still not processing what had happened. But now she felt it, the steady, subtle push on her mindset. Robin was pushing her through their bond. Becoming stronger by each passing moment.

He had _no_ right to be pushing at her, no right to be trying to break her walls. Rage was trying to tear he way to the surface at the mere thought of him doing _this_ to her now. _Especially_ after what had happened. He was trying to find a way in. She wouldn't let him. She was hurt every time he did. Raven began forcefully propelling him back into his own mind, until he clutched his head in pain with his free hand from the ejection.

"Don't push me right now Robin. I know what happened, and I am in no position to be fighting with you about this. Let go of me."

She was terse. Trying her hardest not to allow her underlying rage a chance to escape. But Robin saw the threat in her words. Slowly, he let her shoulder go and she teleported away. But Robin was confused. She never shut him out. Even at her worst, he would be there for her. What had changed? Was it because of what happened the night before? He didn't want to feel like this, he was hurt. She never rejected him like this. What had he done?

Turning around, Robin set out to free his fallen friends, and to leave the confusing scene.

Raven was in the lotus position on her bed, trying desperately for the last hour and a half to achieve her meditation trance, and failing miserably. There were too many questions. Too many questions that she _needed_ answers for.

Why in Azar's name did she save him?

Why did she care if he was hurt?

Why didn't she attack when he was staring at her?

"Uggh! This is too difficult!." Giving up on manual meditation, she rolled from her bed, to begin her search for her portal into her mind. She stopped to look on top of her dresser, and she could feel something in her room, rather _someone_ in her room. In _her_ room without permission. Slowly she started to turn. And not ten feet in front of her, there he was. The criminal, who was currently driving her into a slow insanity. "Why are you here?"

She didn't receive an answer, only him continuing to stare. Timid was bringing for a self-conscious feeling forth, and Raven wrapped an arm around herself waiting for a reply.

After several moments, he finally answered, "Why did you save me?"

She was unsure how to answer that question, and found something interesting at the floor to look at when she finally answered. " I-I don't, know." She looked up to meet his gaze, and noticed he had moved. He was less than three feet from her now, and strangely enough, she wanted to be closer to him. He was so quiet, when he reached up to her cheek, she barely noticed until his ghost like fingers pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, but letting his fingers linger there.

Red X's heart was hammering against his chest. Being this close to her was driving him mad. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be here with _her_. But he couldn't stop. He was drawn to her. He was being driven by other worldly forces to be in her presence. And he was happy to oblige. He opened his mouth to speak but there was a knock on the door. Demanding both of their attentions. Red X let his hand drop back to his side.

"Raven?" It was Robin. "Can I talk to you?"

Raven sighed, and began to walk to the door. When she reached there, she looked back, only to see Red X gone, and she opened the door.

"What Robin?" She asked in a cold voice.

"What's wrong with you Raven? Why are you being like this?! What did I do?!" He half asked, half cried in exasperation.

"Nothing Robin, you did, _nothing._ "

The door hissed shut, and Robin was left in the hallway completely stunned.

When Raven turned back to her bed, she noticed two things set upon her nightstand: One singular violet Crocus Chrysanthemum, and a note.

" _I_ will _see you again little bird…_

 _Until then._

 _\- X "_

After reading the foreboding note, Raven set it aside along with the radiant flower, and continued her search for the mirror. Because if any knew what was going on at the moment, it would be wisdom.

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 **Crocus Chrysanthemum – Meaning Foresight.**

Thank you so much for the support. Next chapter will introduce the emotions inside Raven's mind, and more of the fluff? I guess. Also, I wanted to ask, for Red X, do you think his name should be : **Riley or Tyler?** Because I like both, and will most likely end up using the lesser one as his middle name, but I don't want to be cliché with Jason or Xavier. Bye c:

~ D.I.


	3. Chapter 3 - Beautiful to Me

**I know, I know, I'm a terrible person. I'm sorry for the lack of updates, but I'm not going to lie, I'm a procrastinator. That and I was into writing the fifth chapter and realized that from chapter three on, it had nothing to do with what I wanted it to… So had to start from the beginning again. Thank you all for the feedback and reviews. It means so much to know that people other than my little sister enjoy the story. I really appreciate it. *^^***

 **~ D.I**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.**

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 **Chapter Three – Beautiful to Me**

"Raven! Great you're finally here!" Happy yelled, "It's been sooo long since you've been here!" Happy moved forward, in hopes of giving Raven a hug, but the discouraging scowl on Raven's face was enough for her to make her rethink her agenda. "… I'll just… be over here, with Brave…" She scooted behind the green clad emotion, with vigor.

"Can someone please explain to me what's going on here?! Why did I save him? Is there a reason why I shielded him from the explosion?" Raven asked, clearly peeved.

Wisdom, in all her yellow cloaked glory, stepped forward. "Come with me please Raven." Raven stepped to follow Wisdom as she led her down a winding path into Wisdom's own library. An impossibly large room, filled from floor to ceiling, with books on every subject, and language, that has ever been known by Raven, be it conscious or subconsciously. "Please take a seat." As Raven did, she noticed Wisdom take a book down from a shelf.

"Which book is that?" She inquired.

However, Wisdom simply ignored her question and asked one of her own. "You are aware of your bond with Robin, yes?"

"Yes. I am."

"And you remember the way you felt, when you experienced his… relations, with Starfire yes?" Raven replied with a nod. "When he, you know, the part of us that were attached to him in an affectionate way, was essentially crushed. While you were trying to cope with the situation, the experience, left us vulnerable."

"Meaning what exactly?" Raven had absolutely no idea what that vulnerability meant for her and Red X.

"Meaning, that because we spent so long building those feeling up with him, that when you realized that you had lost, part of you was left hollow. That part being affection herself. And you know as well as I, that when she is hurt, she clings to what she can…"

"Which is why I saved Red X." She concluded.

"Yes. While she did not mean to, affection bonded you to him, and he you."

"But, why him, I couldn't have bonded with _anyone else?_ I mean, hell, _Beast Boy_ would have been a better choice."

"Raven," a voice rang from behind them. They turned to see Affection with her head hung. "Raven, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to bond you to him."

"What caused it? I mean why did you choose him to 'cling' to?" She asked.

"Didn't you see it?" She raised her head with a confused expression. "Did you not see him staring, or the way he reached out for us? I don't know what it was. There was something in that moment. It drove my instinct array. I _felt_ something. I thought you did too, I guess that's when the bond was created. I only knew after it had happened, but he didn't protest to us invading his mind scape Raven, he _welcomed_ us."

"Why would he do that?" She whispered to herself, staring intently at the floor. _Why would he_ welcome _me into his mind?_

Wisdom, being the closest, heard her question answered, knowing full well, Raven knew what she was asking. "I do not know Raven, that would be something only he could answer."

Raven closed her eyes, and when they reopened, she was in her room, clutching the flower to her chest. It was already dark out now, but she didn't want to sleep. She wanted to see him again, but meditation on the roof was a close second.

Deciding to act on the ladder, Raven teleported to the roof, where she could stare at the stars, and not worry about being bothered.

 _It's so beautiful tonight._

10:47 p.m.

This was it. Red X had officially given up. Sitting in his arm chair, blindly staring at the door, hearing the ticking of the clock on the wall. Debating whether or not to run, or wait to be with her again.

Ever since he had left, she had been the only thing he could think about. Her smooth skin against his thin gloves, how soft her hair felt, how she looked self-conscious as he stared at her. Her scent of, mixed lavender and vanilla, her angelic voice, and those eyes… _Those damn beautiful eyes._ Those _beautiful_ pained eyes, that could drag you into their depths, and make you feel as if you could stay there until your last day.

He didn't know what it was. He had always acknowledged her existence. But she was always hidden. More reserved than the rest of the Titans, always in the back. She was a mystery that he would gladly take the risk of imprisonment to unravel.

The way she hid under her hood and cloak, always hiding from the world, he could tell she wasn't like everyone else. No she was something entirely different. Something dark, something rare, something beautifully unique.

 _She is Raven._

Even thinking her name caused goosebumps to make their ways up his arms. The thought of her caused chills, and being near her… being near her caused tremors. He felt like he was addicted. And yet he had only spoken two sentences to her. It was a weird feeling. He felt connected to her, while at the same time being closed off. Like he wasn't welcome. It was a weird feeling. Like when you can know someone your whole life, but never really know them at all.

But he wanted to know her. In all honesty, he didn't think he knew anything about the girl other than the fact that she was a Titan, and that she was quiet and reserved. _More to add to the mystery…_ The clock changed and he looked.

11:00 p.m.

Getting up from the chair, Red X put on his suit, and left his apartment.

He found her on the roof, laying on her back, staring at the stars above her. Hands folded on her stomach, and hood down. She looked beautiful.

"I know you're staring. Might as well talk now, don't you think?" She sighed, and sat up to look at him.

"Hi." He smiled under his mask, and looked down. _God. I feel like I'm 14 again._

"Hi yourself." She stood, and sat on the edge of the railing, over-looking the city. Quietly she patted the open space to her side, motioning for him to join her. "You feel it too don't you?" She asked.

Red X walked over to her, and sat on her right. "Depends on what you feel. Do you feel like all you want to do is know me?"

A small smile graced her lips as she looked into his mask, making his heart stammer. "For me, it's wanting you to be there for me. To know I have you to comfort me." Her smile vanished as she looked back at the skyline in the distance. "But that's not going to happen."

"Why not?" He asked.

Raven scoffed and looked back at him, running a hand threw her plum locks. "Why? Because you're a criminal, and I, happen to be a hero. One that has been committed to catching _you_ since you stole Robin's suit. Because us being together would cause more harm than good. Because if the others knew, hell would be the result."

"How can you know that though?" He spoke, "Raven, I have no idea what this is, but I'd be willing to help you figure this out if you'd let me. You said that you wanted me to be there for you. I can do that. I could help you with whatever you need. Because I _cannot stop_ , for the life of me, thinking about you. Every moment, every thought is you." Red X put a hand over his chest for emphasis, "Right now, I need to be near you. To know you. That's all I'm asking. Let me know the dark bird. I won't even make jokes." He finished, before amending, "About you."

"But you shouldn't want to be around me! _I'm_ the one who did this to us!" Raven exclaimed, pulling her knees to her chest.

"What do you mean?"

"I… It's my fault okay. Just… my fault." She paused, putting her legs back over the edge, before continuing. "You shouldn't even be thinking about me. You should be thinking about girls like Starfire."

"Why would I be thinking about Starfire?" Red X was genuinely confused by her statement. Why would he be thinking of her?

"Because, she's fun, happy, less creepy, and beautiful. I'm meant to be alone. No one is meant to love me Red X. I'm not her." Raven had barely spoken above a whisper, but he heard her words, and was slightly taken aback by her words.

"Raven, do you honestly believe that you're not beautiful?"

"I'm not…I'm me." Twiddling her thumbs in her lap, she was unable to see that he was reaching forward to grab her chin. Gently making her look at him.

"You're beautiful to me Raven, _always_."

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 **I really wanted to thank you guys for being so patient with me, I know how it feels for an author to not update for a REALLY long time. So thank you for that, but also for the tons of feedback that I get. You guys have no Idea how much it helps me when I'm writing. And if you celebrate, Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy today :)**

 **~ D.I.**


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